I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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