whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
Randomize