Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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