you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
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