Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
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