So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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