good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
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I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
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