i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
We named our party play list daddy issues
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
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