my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
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