Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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