Fine. I'll sleep in my office
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
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