All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Randomize