Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Randomize