whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
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