It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
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