I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
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Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
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I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
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