I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
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The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
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We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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