i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
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