Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
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