If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
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What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
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I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
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