is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
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