so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
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