i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
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I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
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It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
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