bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
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