i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
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we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
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Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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