if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
Randomize