Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
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Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
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One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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