i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
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I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
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Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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