I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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