i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize