420 ftw
I don't usually arrange sex via text message
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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