I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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