Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
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