My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize