i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
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