I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
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