the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
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