i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Randomize