Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
Dignity is for republicans.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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