i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
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