1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
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Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
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Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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