"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
Randomize