Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
On Saturday, I sharted on my roommates dog while trying to make it smell my farts. Today I got security clearance to work for one of the most respected and secretive govt agencies in the US
It's the American dream
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Randomize