Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
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