I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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