jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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