Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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