I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
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