Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
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Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Randomize