I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Randomize